Daughter (14 years old) met with a 16-year-old guy. I realized that he doesn’t suit her. And he says that he does not represent life without her. I propose to lower on the brakes. But the daughter is afraid that he will do something with him.

If the guy keeps the girl in a relationship with threats to do something with himself, this is blackmail, manipulation and violence. She does not want to meet out of pity and is not obliged to do this, she has the right to refuse. Your daughter is experiencing a difficult moment when the other gives her responsibility for herself and her condition, demonstrates that her decisions may have serious consequences. It would be difficult for an adult, and even more so a teenager.

It is important that she can get support and see that you, Irina, understand that the situation is not from simple. It seems that it will not work out to lower it on the brakes, and everything can be complicated: the girl will be in tension from the inevitable explanation. It is better to set up points once over „i“. Talk about yourself and your feelings. Not „you are bad, so I do not love you“, but „I want to change the format of our relationship. It’s not something wrong with you. I just feel so. Now I am uncomfortable „.

Whether to break the relationship at all, to decide your daughter. Perhaps they are in the same companies, and you will not be able to see at all at all. Then it is worth

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indicating that close relationships ended and moved to the format of friendship.

Since the guy is a minor, it is worth informing his parents that he mentions suicide. You can take on a conversation with your parents – Mom, tell the girl that you are ready to help her. And this can become a valuable resource for her.

Teenagers often do not want to tell adults about friends‘ problems, considering this to be a “bite”. Explain to your daughter that this is a matter of security – herself and the young man – and care for him.

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